Being thankful

Tomorrow is the day everyone is supposed to say what they are thankful for and that their lives are full of happiness and blah blah blah. Lol

I'm thankful I have Aaron and Noah. Aaron's thankful he has Noah, me and a job. Noah's thankful for....well I'm not too sure, but probably food.

Yes, we're happy. We have a decent home, food and family who love us.

There are still days of sadness though. No amount of "but it was so long ago's" or "be thankful you have Noah" or "it was God's plan" will take away the sadness. Or any variation of those previously listed.

Let me go ahead and answer a question for you.

You: When are you going to have more?

Short answer: Hopefully soon

Long answer: We don't know. After miscarriages and a premature birth, who knows. If I can get pregnant, who knows if I'll actually be able to have a healthy full term (or near) baby. If I can't get pregnant, well, there's your answer. We want to have another one, and when whatever fates [or doctors] who control my uterus grant us that blessing, you'll know.

Until then, please don't stick that knife in our hearts. You have no idea how hard it is to have to give any answer to that question after the pain we've felt. Holidays make it worse. My first miscarriage was Christmas Eve. My second losses due date was Dec 1 (2010). The holidays hurt greatly. But we'll keep smiling.


I know that people want to give reasons, advice or comfort. But really, telling me that I should be grateful for the kid I have, the fact I was able to get pregnant or that I should be happy I lost the babies because something must have been wrong with them is more painful than you ignoring the fact I have my angels in heaven or asking when we'll have more.