The Pregnancy Post

Some of you (a very select few, so don't feel left out) have known and some of you just found out. If you don't fit in either of those groups, this is news to you.

Aaron and I are currently expecting our second little one to join our family in early August. If you're doing your math, you'll see that we found out right about Thanksgiving. Actually, on Thanksgiving.

Followed by a few more....

Now, assuming you know us and that's why you're reading this, you also know that there has been a history of pain in our past two pregnancies. They both ended in miscarriages leaving us feeling broken, me mainly. Before you start saying, "but you have a healthy son" or "at least you know you can get pregnant", it's not that easy. It doesn't remove the pain or the emptiness inside.

I found out I was pregnant over a holiday weekend, so I had to wait the very very long four days to call a nearby OB to try to get Prometrium (a progesterone supplement designed to help prevent miscarriages). When I was told I couldn't have any I called my previous midwife. Thankfully, she called in a prescription to Walgreens in Topeka and I transferred it out here.

Eventually I got in to see a Dr Simmonds. Reviews said that he was not the kindest Dr so I had my reservations. Noah came with me to the appointment and sat there so patiently and played on his tablet and ate his snack. When the Dr came in, I told him I was pregnant and wanted to stay that way (yes, my words exactly). I said that I wanted the progesterone, betas and an early ultrasound for viability. Thankfully, he agreed on all terms and though he is rough around the edges, he's straightforward and doesn't sugar coat anything.

Over the course of a week I had two betas drawn, the first one was done on a Saturday and the second on a Monday. The numbers came back very high and I was elated. I've never had good beta numbers.

During the in between time of my betas and early ultrasound, I decided to work on some reading:

I also was on the Prometrium which has a lovely side effect of bloating. Extreme bloating...

Finally I got my ultrasound at 5 weeks 6 days and it went perfectly. There was a tiny flicker of a heartbeat and it was magical.

Unfortunately the next day is when morning sickness kicked in. At first it was just extreme nausea. Then eventually it turned to throwing up and at one point I went 48 hours with no food or water/drink. That's when I had my first ER visit (Yes, I said first....) The room was terrifying. It was an old psych room that was used as a "calm down" room for patients who need it. They were full otherwise so I was stuck in there. It was all white, no monitor, no tv, no call button. Nothing. Just the bed. My phone died shortly into my visit but I did snap two photos.

That's a camera up in the corner. They said they turned it off, but that red light never went away.....

My first IV since having Noah....owie.

I was there for about 4 hours and it was the LONGEST four hours ever. I got a full bag of fluids and a dose of Zofran. The nurse was kind and brought me a chicken salad sandwich and some apple juice. Food has never tasted so amazing as it did that day. That was December 15th.

Over the next few weeks things were ok, until one day, Dec 30th, I had a violent throwing up session. None of my medications helped and nothing stayed down. Also, scary enough, I started bleeding. So, back to the ER I went. This time I drove myself so that the boys didn't have to worry too much (they dropped me off last time and a friend picked me up).

There was COLOR and a TV and even a call button!!!!! Granted I was in the pediatric area listening to babies cry as I was expecting to be told I was losing mine. I got another bag of fluids and eventually an ultrasound. The tech wasn't allowed to tell or show me anything, that was up to the ER doctor. Longest hour and a half I've had to wait. While she was out talking to the Dr I did sit up and snap a picture of the screen with my ultrasound pictures on it.

That was New Years Day, fun right?

They came in and told me that baby was alright and that I had a small subchoionic bleed. That's where there is blood either under the placenta between it and the uterine wall or part of the placenta detaches or doesn't fully attach resulting in irritation and bleeding. Some can be big some can be small. Some can grow or some can shrink. It was a waiting game. That day I was 8 weeks and 4 days.

5 days later I had my follow up with my Dr. There was no bleeding after that and I went to see him on a Friday. He did an ultrasound and confirmed I had a small bleed. What he noticed, however, was that there was a free pocket of blood at the top of my uterus. That all came out the following Monday and the bleeding lasted until just shy of 12 weeks.

In the weeks after that I ordered a doppler for listening to the heartbeat at home, fought more nausea and took more meds. I was on a cocktail of medications and natural remedies to try to make me able to function during the day. Thankfully it let up a bit at about 11 weeks, but still came back every so often in the form of strong nausea.

At 9 weeks 5 days I found the beautiful heartbeat on our home doppler

Since then it's been an almost daily use to help calm me if I feel concerned.

I had another ultrasound the following week (on the 13th of Jan) and one the week after that (the 20th of Jan). On the 13th I saw little one but didn't get a picture. I was 10w2d on the 13th and 11w2d on the 20th.

Here's nugget on the 20th.

The hand was up by their nose the entire time. I say "they" and "their" because we don't know the gender and I feel weird saying "it". No I don't mean there's more than one in there ;-)

Here is my "belly" at 12 weeks:

I also had a strong pregnancy related craving on the 19th. I couldn't get it out of my head, so I loaded up Noah and we trekked to the store

Yes, that is watermelon and a pickle. Yes, it was amazing.

Up to this point, my food has been 90% carbs made up of chips and cereal. I've been able to occasionally eat some things that are "healthier" like home made tacos, spaghetti or some BBQ chicken. It's been tough though. The taste of fruits and veggies is a distant memory now.

Week 13: Today is 2/1/2012 and I'm now 13 weeks! Some might consider this to be the start of second trimester, but technically it's 13w3d. I'm still excited either way. The nausea hasn't exactly let up, but I've found that eating pickles helps a ton.

2/4/2012- I'm now second trimester at 13w3d! I swear, I honestly never believed I'd make it to this point. At the same time, it's terrifying. Now, if something happens, it's a second, or third, trimester loss. I feel like it'd be so much harder than my early first tri losses. My doppler has kept me sane. I used it last night and though the baby hates when I use it, I can still find little bits of their heartbeat.

We're telling family this next weekend on the 12th. I'll be 14.5 weeks and though I wanted to wait until the anatomy scan, we feel we can't keep it a secret any longer. We're also going for an elective ultrasound at the end of the month. We've picked out how we're telling everyone about this little one and about the gender. Fun surprises in store.

2/8/2012- 14 weeks today! Well today I was sad because I felt like my bloat/belly went away. It seems every day I get a little more worried about something happening. I wish I could have an at home ultrasound machine. It doesn't help that I had to search for a good 10 minutes before barely hearing the heartbeat yesterday. Very unsettling. When I saw my picture though, I saw the belly, just from the top it doesn't look as "out".

I'm still getting a good amount of nausea and can't eat much. I'd be checking the scale if ours didn't randomly change it's mind about working or not....Sometimes it will say we're 1lb, 36lb, etc instead of our real weight. Lol. Until a few days ago, I was a few lbs under my pre-pregnancy weight, which is good for me. I kept on 20lbs after having Noah and the depression weight from miscarriages. I also have PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome) and it puts me at risk for gestational diabetes.

2/12/12- Last night/this morning was my third and hopefully LAST ER visit. Long story short, I probably either have a UTI or bladder infection that led to some bleeding and cramping. ER was from 12-2am and I'm so exhausted today.

The thrill of finally telling everyone, though scary to put out in public, has helped keep me awake though.

Our announcement photo: